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September 01, 2004
idea
i was emailing my brother and eating a sammich at the same time. i thought about inventing a tool that divides the length of bread automatically. it's called
"the long bread measureer: for measuring and cutting long
breads in equal parts without having to use your brain"
example: you are making sammiches out of baguette bread. and it's a really
long piece of bread. you need to make the cuts in thirds. but there is a
couple different long bread lengths. it doesn't matter that they are
different lengths and after you cut them they are differnt. you don't want to
waste bread. i guess you could probably eye ball it. but that would be too easy.
okay so maybe this tool divides things into fifths instead. so lets say that
one long bread is 4 feet long. and then another bread is 3 and a half feet.
so the tool longens or shortens and automatically changes the markings for
fifths.
so now you are probably thinking "why not just always bake bread the same length. like how subway does? or quiznos? why? why wouldn't you do that? you also said 'longens' and i'm pretty sure that is not a word."
and the answer i might give would be "because. i just thought of this new tool and if you bake breads all the same length you won't need to use this tool at all. so why bother? and i know that i said 'longens' its funny okay?"
my brother says that this could be used for other things besides bread. but i have no idea what people would be slicing that isn't bread. except for body parts. and that is gross. my tool is not to be used for slicing body parts. only bread.
Posted by alison at September 1, 2004 02:31 PM
Comments
No. A brainless bread measureer is not a good idea. If I want clean healthy food, my cook had better be smart enough to measure out thirds, and fourths, let alone keep the food clean.
hoo rah!
Posted by: Gweg Bones at September 3, 2004 02:13 AM
clean healthy food? is this the same gweg bones that lives in a frat house with RATS IN THE PANTRY?
uh huuh...
greg- you are coming to our wedding right?
if you promise that you are, i'll let you get by with not sending the reply card back. sheesh. don't you people understand? we're trying to PLAN A WEDDING HERE. (two weeks dude. and the week of doesn't count because we're going to be doing things with everything. so there is really only ONE WEEK LEFT!!)
Posted by: alison at September 3, 2004 09:07 AM