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September 29, 2004

jerk

something keeps leaving comments on my site to go to an online poker/roulette/craps website. today i found about 20 new ones from yesterday. this annoys me a great deal. i also have gas and a headache. i really want to take a nap when i get home. shit fire.

Posted by alison at 02:26 PM | Comments (1)

September 27, 2004

normal times

i'm back at work doing my normal work things. i'm pretty sure they had a temp person come in because all my things ON TOP of my desk looked the same, but inside my drawer, my rubber band mess was all scooted together, my chair was pumped up really high, and my radio was on KUBE. it is good to be back though.

today i'm going to pick pictures up at the picture place and i am grippa excited.

soon it will be lunch time.

Posted by alison at 11:42 AM | Comments (3)

September 26, 2004

shit dog

i have put up a small portion of pictures. i hope to put up more in the actual wedding area of the the wedding website thing for weddings.

married.

anyway, these pictures are all out of order and i hate that. but you're just going to have to figure out how the day went yourself. good luck, wieners.

Posted by alison at 10:06 AM | Comments (0)

September 25, 2004

sitting at home

today we ran errands. exchanged some things and stuff. we dropped pictures off at the camera place and i am excited to see how they turned out.
i got a camera bag that can also double as a purse.
the tote bag/hippie style grocery bags i've been using as purse keep getting mistaken for actual grocery bags at market time. how embarassing.

dump time.

oh wait- here is the story of seeing a weenie: we were on the train, right after we crossed the border into canada we were going a long this beach area. there was a lot of people watching and waving. just normal peeps, out walking their dogs and old people speed walking. anyway, we went a little further and there was a guy who was sun bathing alone on the rocks. he was naked and facing the train. his hand was shading his eyes from the sun. and his wiener was just hanging there. since i was in the window seat, corey did not get to see it. the man behind us said "oh. that guy back there was nude"
and that was that.

Posted by alison at 10:04 PM | Comments (0)

September 24, 2004

back from vacation

i have been away from a computer, clock, and phone for too long. i forgot how to type and read the time.
today is friday night so that means that corn-dog and i have been married a whole week.
we still need to send our certificate thing to someone though.
i want brownies.

on our trip to vancouver i saw:
- 3 butt cracks
- someone else's weenie
- a lot of homos
- a lot of mothers with strollers and babies inside

i will return tomorrow with more details ( about the weenie) and more pictures of me standing in front of things and waving!

Posted by alison at 11:21 PM | Comments (2)

September 18, 2004

just married

here is a picture of corey and i being married.

we still need to send our marriage certificate license thingy in though...

Posted by alison at 10:52 PM | Comments (5)

September 16, 2004

trying to write a "vow"

WHAT THE HELL.

Posted by alison at 11:19 AM | Comments (4)

September 14, 2004

corey got a haircut!

corey got a hair cut today and he looks really cute. like 10 years younger. CUTE!!

Posted by alison at 09:52 PM | Comments (3)

I (unknowingly) received an illustration to French taking of the Manikuere

(note: this entry has been translated into german, then back into english for maximum confusion!! also, EH=eva)

i'd however i'm at the work thus at i can't.

here's history:
Carolyn, lui, EH and I drove more rueber to "magic nails" in northgate Mall the evening we goes yesterday inside and I asks, whether they have time, "four manicures" to do; the lady says and points at the chairs, so that we are inch four ladies there sit, there, to do to the that nails and one is endeavored to rub down some different womans talon Carolyn waiting periods for this lady while it begins it colors, for selecting waits, so that we say lui to their wife carry, which wish "i straight free free area are this okay?" EH receives rosafarben. I receives rosafarbene Carolyn asks the lady, who does my, if she thinks that she is to receive nails long enough a French Manikuere, which "yes!" the lady; says; now we are all Sitting down everyone of us are in the different stages nail receive getanen process.EH rises, in order to wash, it, receives hands away then from lui above, after some minutes return I me receive above and it "do you a French Manikuere says too?" wish; and I legend "no. fair pink" thus the ladies speak with each other Carolyn explain to one that i'm receiving the ladies Mumble young" with one another more and legends "oh you're; married; I hear that lui "JUST FREE AREA say I wish straight clear." again a woman says that something off" here like "since you're everything we'll you $2; give; they were all kind of the maintenance and i don't think that everyone could really understand. she explains so now to me that it's give to pay me to it my car to time and it gets it back and says reciept the $61.oo, what hell? thus I sharpen $8 and then regard the wall with the prices and try to do to Mathe 'regular Manikuere am $12. time four am.... hmm $48. "french" away of $7., which must mean her $12 plus $7., is what a Rip however this calm doesn't since that forms, because only Carolyn a French thing... ' receives; while i'm thinking, which I that it has sqared my nails considered. SQUARE. ROUGHLY.to begin to paint then considered I she's, point white, that it me terminated and explains that over to go under the black bright hand dryer EH to sit it and lui already under it there being and i can't their nails see I brought in embarrassment, in order to show it that pit, because i don't think it me wish wished a French Manikuere, which they ask, my to see I implements it and forms a face like this isn't, which I explain i'll wished, when we let her say, "i thought that you pink?" wished; then I under the light and she look have French Manikueren also! this burns means understanding total because, welll, WHAT the BUMSEN through? thus Carolyn with their French M. goes past and all we sits there then it's time to go we inch keep "WHAT to the car, the FUCKING SHIT of THIS ABOUT?" WAS; they would like to know, why it was so expensive everything we divides our stories of "WHAT the FUCK" and laughter over, as these ladies tore us up away.

we came to the summary that they must have said "if you, which receive ALL French Manikueren now then we give them to you for $15., two dollar off" is; and as if they spoke with us about the wedding, it the "are over around it probably completely going, in it being asked? if all look you the same, it is so beautiful. BEAUTIFULLY! is what you wish? that whole same?" and which, not, answered knowing the hell, which they ask I were, probably "yes. all we went highschool together... to " (I schwre that she asked, whether we went to the school together, but who knows), I estimate that I can live with him for some days, but it's, which already begins to so possibly break me off away it Thursday nighter. sheesh makes again.

(the non confusing version)

i'd take a picture but i'm at work so i can't.

here's the story.

carolyn, lui, eva, and i motored over to the "magic nails" at the northgate mall last night. we walk in and i ask if they have time to do "four manicures" the lady says yes and points at the chairs for us to sit in.
there is four ladies there to do nails and one is busy grinding down some other womans talons. carolyn waits for this lady. while she waits she starts picking out colors for us to wear. lui says to her woman "i just want clear. clear. is that okay?" eva gets pink. i get pink. carolyn asks the lady who is doing mine if she thinks her nails are long enough to get a french manicure. the lady says "yes!" by now we are all sitting down. each of us are in the various stages of the nails-getting-done process. eva gets up to wash her hands off. then lui gets up. after a few mintues i get up. i come back and she says "do you want a french manicure too?" and i say "no. just pink" so the ladies talk at each other. carolyn tells one that i'm getting married. the ladies mumble to each other some more and say "oh you're young" i hear lui say "JUST CLEAR. i just want clear." again. one woman says something like "since you're all here we'll give you $2 off" they were all sort of talking and i don't think anyone could really understand. so now she tells me it's time to pay. i give her my car and she brings it back and the reciept says $61.oo what the hell? so i tip $8 and then look at the wall with the prices. and try doing the math. 'regular manicure is $12. times four is $48.... hmm. "french" is $7. they must mean $12 plus $7. what a rip off. but that still doesn't make since because only carolyn is getting a french thing...' while i'm thinking i have noticed that she has sqared my nails. SQUARE. GROSS. then i noticed she's starting to paint the tips white. she finishes and tells me to go sit under the black light hand dryer. eva and lui are already under there and i can't see their nails. i am embarassed to show them mine. because i don't want them to think i wanted a french manicure. they ask to see mine. i take them out and make a face like this isn't what i wanted. i'll explain when we leave they say "i thought you wanted pink?"
then i look under the light and they have french manicures too! this totally blows my mind. because, welll, WHAT THE FUCK?
so carolyn comes over with her french M. and we all sit there. then it's time to go to the car. we get in. "WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT WAS THAT ABOUT?" they want to know why it was so expensive. we all share our stories of "WHAT THE FUCK" and laugh about how these ladies ripped us off.

we came to the conclusion that they must have said "if you ALL get french manicures now, then we will give them to you for $15. that is two dollars off" and when they were talking to us about the wedding they probably asked "are they all going to be in it? if you all look the same it will be so beautiful. BEAUTIFUL! is that what you want? all the same?" and not knowing what the hell they were asking i probably answered "yes. we all went to highschool together..." ( i swear that she asked if we went to school together. but who knows)

i guess i can live with it for a few days. but it's already starting to chip off. so maybe i will redo it thursday nighter. sheesh.

Posted by alison at 11:19 AM | Comments (1)

"WE MAY NEVER KNOW"

Seattle

Test results awaited in zoo pony's death

Woodland Park Zoo officials still are waiting for test results to find out what killed a 16-year-old pony, Cherokee, a fixture at the children's pony rides at the zoo who died a week ago.

"We may never know," said Gigi Allianic, a zoo spokeswoman.

Cherokee and seven other ponies in the herd of 11 took ill two weeks ago, exhibiting similar symptoms of lethargy, decreased appetite and diarrhea. The other ponies have recuperated.

Posted by alison at 10:56 AM | Comments (0)

September 10, 2004

paper flower pin thingys

i am making paper flower pins things and i have about 75 made. i need 100 and some change. they are to be pinned on the napkins and then people can take them off and put them on their lapels if they want. i am very excited because they are all turning out very cute.

Posted by alison at 12:28 PM | Comments (1)

one more week!!

one more week from today and we're getting wedded. jesus christ. i know that next week is going to go by really fast.

i don't want to think about it too much so i'm going to get ready for work.

Posted by alison at 07:56 AM | Comments (0)

September 09, 2004

i'm gonna barf my pants

i can not sleep because corey woke me up to tell me the itinerary for the next eight days. it is making me nervous. i have too many things to think about. but i am trying to only think about one thing at a time. today i was able to cut out a million paper flowers at work. tomorrow if there is not much to do i will be able to put some of them together.

we REALLY, REALLY, absolutely, have to, must get everything CLEANED AND PICKED UP soon. there is a pile of clothes at least 4 feet tall in the bedroom. i know they are not all dirty too. the bathroom and kitchen are gross. i do not want to do the kind of cleaning like "stuffing stuff into the already stuffed closet and then put everything else like the ironing board and vacuum in our bedroom along with a chair and some empty boxes on top of the 4 foot pile of clothes." our bedroom is just not that big.

in other news, i got my eyebrows waxed today. they look nice. i also got my arms waxed. they feel like "baby butts" with out the smeared doodie.

Posted by alison at 03:02 AM | Comments (0)

September 08, 2004

busy

too much stuff to do. not enough days!

Posted by alison at 01:22 PM | Comments (2)

September 07, 2004

smelling tape is a really good smell.

so far for the month of september i have not been posting very regularly. like every other day or something.

some things for you to think about:
-last night i "ran some stairs" for about 15 minutes. i wore an already stanky shirt so when i got home i smelled like panda B.O. times 2!! corey called me his "rag doll panda B.O."
- i used my new rice cooker AND my new indoor/outdoor grill. i don't know why they call it "outdoor" because anyone with an outdoor would not want to use this grill because it is too small. now i have a lot of cleaning up to do.
-i am waiting for two pairs of "locals" flipflops to come in the mail. my other pair is really worn out and they almost uncomfortable to wear. i hope they come in the mail today.
- i forgot my things to do at work. like papers to fold and thank you cards to write. i feel irresponsible.
- i need to take corey's wedding ring back to get sized down. otherwise it falls off his finger. i am still wearing mine even though my mom said i should not be. i will take it off when i get home. ifn's i can remember.
-tomorrow is a redo of going to m-ville to get my hairs done. practice. practice practice.

Posted by alison at 01:15 PM | Comments (2)

September 05, 2004

i guess we're like, pretty much married now.

today we went to get our rings. i thought they were going to take a week to get here but we didn't need to get them sized or anything. so we paid for them and left. then as we walked to the bon we put them on. so now we're like married and all. i mean i think the marriage certificate is still needed. but this is still like 75% of the getting married part. i think.
anyway. corey is wearing his on his right hand for some reason. what a bungle.
now it's cleaning time!

Posted by alison at 07:07 PM | Comments (5)

this is what i did today

first i woke up. i don't remember when but it wasn't early. probably about 10. we got ready and after a while left to go to target to return some things. we were at target for a VERY long time. we bought a bunch of crap. then we went over to the northgate mall. it was very 'happening' at around 4:30-ish. i ate food at panda express.
SIDEBAR: i have just recently realized that i am the kind of person that always orders the same meal at every resturant i go to. example: at kwan jai thai i get curry soomething (it's always a different curry but all the curries taste the same anyway.) at hatties hat i get a country breakfast with scrambled eggs and bacon. red robin (which i hardly ever go to) i get a honey mustard chicken thingy. quinzo's i get a honey bacon club....
SOOO. at panda express i always get a mandrian bowl with mountain dew.
and i got that again. i told corey that at one point they had stopped making the mandrain bowl. so i asked "can't you just put rice in a bowl and put chicken on it?" they really didn't want to do this for my but then ended up called it a "one item combo" and charging the same as a mandrian chicken thingy. anyway. i just remembered that at new peking i always get general tso's chicken. i guess i just don't want to try something new and be disappointed.

OKAY. so we did more things after going to the mall and i don't think they are that important to write about. we went home and then i drove to m-ville to get my car and try my dress on and get it hemmed. there is more then the elevendy billion things to do than i quoted before. we bought tickets to bumbershoot and i don't think we are going to go now. i hope we can find someone to go for us.

on friday we went to some bar by eva's new house called the canterbury.. i've already made up a nickname for it: the cadbury (egg). i haven't ran this by anyone yet so i i hope it goes over well. who knows. i'm starting to think it might not be the best name....

Posted by alison at 12:26 AM | Comments (0)

September 03, 2004

guess what

this is only sort of exciting:

yesterday i got a coupon in the mail from pagliacci pizza for "buy one 11" pizza and get the second 11" pizza FREE!" this coupon was special though, because it was addressed to one "alyson jackson" and it was in the form of a letter. and it had a real signature. signed by a computer.

11 inches of pizza isn't that much. i suppose that 11 inches times 2 is more though. so maybe this is a good deal?

Posted by alison at 02:15 PM | Comments (0)

holy shit. only two more weeks until we're getting married

shit fire. last night we went and listened to the horn quartet that is playing at the wedding. it was fun and i really liked their songs. it's been a long time since i've been in band and i forgot what it's like to be a nerd alert. (because i'm like, really cool now. and i'm never going to be a nerd person ever again)
anyway. there is about elevendy billion other things to do and i know if i write them down i'm going to forget to write something that really needs to get done. and then i'll forget .

i need to write thank you cards for the presents extravaganza that is all over our floor right now. i could do that at work. i hope there is no real work to do there.
we also need to go buy our rings. and there is some other stuff to do. i will not bore you with my list of to-dos. until later.

the seinfeld episode with the dog named "farfel" was on last night. i turned it on halfway through and was not able to hear jerry scream "FARFEL!! FARFEL!!!"
that is probably my favorite episode. and i've only seen it one and a half times now.

bumbershoot is this weekend. is anyone i know going? MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL MEET BY THE WHALE! LIKE WE DO EVERY YEAR!!!

Posted by alison at 09:30 AM | Comments (0)

September 01, 2004

idea

i was emailing my brother and eating a sammich at the same time. i thought about inventing a tool that divides the length of bread automatically. it's called
"the long bread measureer: for measuring and cutting long
breads in equal parts without having to use your brain"

example: you are making sammiches out of baguette bread. and it's a really
long piece of bread. you need to make the cuts in thirds. but there is a
couple different long bread lengths. it doesn't matter that they are
different lengths and after you cut them they are differnt. you don't want to
waste bread. i guess you could probably eye ball it. but that would be too easy.
okay so maybe this tool divides things into fifths instead. so lets say that
one long bread is 4 feet long. and then another bread is 3 and a half feet.
so the tool longens or shortens and automatically changes the markings for
fifths.

so now you are probably thinking "why not just always bake bread the same length. like how subway does? or quiznos? why? why wouldn't you do that? you also said 'longens' and i'm pretty sure that is not a word."
and the answer i might give would be "because. i just thought of this new tool and if you bake breads all the same length you won't need to use this tool at all. so why bother? and i know that i said 'longens' its funny okay?"

my brother says that this could be used for other things besides bread. but i have no idea what people would be slicing that isn't bread. except for body parts. and that is gross. my tool is not to be used for slicing body parts. only bread.

Posted by alison at 02:31 PM | Comments (2)

really, really awful afternoon

this is what was supposed to happen yesterday:

i was going to drive to marysville and meet my mom at her hair place so i could get my "practice wedding 'do" done. then we would go to the everett mall and get my "practice wedding make up" done. after that we would go back home and then i would "practice" wearing my dress and earrings and all that crap and make sure i look hot for my special day. then i would go home and everything would be GREAT.

this is what actually happened:

my car broke down on the side of the freeway. I-5 northbound. in the middle of everett, voted All American City back in 2002! you know, the same everett that has the worst traffic ever. I was pluggin' along, going about 5 miles an hour. i had past the everett mall exit about 10 minutes before. and i was almost directly across from the broadway street exit which is retardedly on the left side of the road. so i'm in the middle lane and and i'm trying to give it gas and it's not doing anything. then the red lights go on. WTF? so i put it in neutral and try to start it while driving. nothing. so i put my blinker on and sort of coast over to the right lane and then to the shoulder. i get my phone out. OF COURSE the battery is beeping at me because it's low and i forgot to charge it. LUCKILY i see that there is another person in a white SUV thing in front of me, not more then 30 feet, also having car problems. i notice that they have a phone also. i was not panicking at this point because i knew i could ask them for help if my phone crapped out on me. so i call corey. no answer. (what's he going to do about you ask? probably nothing. he is far away and at work with no car. but i wanted to let him know. that is all) so i call home and my mom is about to leave for her hair thing. it is about 4:00 now. i tell her the car stalled and then ask to talk to dad. he says "can you start it again?". so i try it. it starts. maybe the car is just being stupid and it's fine now i think. so i get off the phone and get back into traffic. i get passed the white SUV and then the car dies again so i pull over. as soon as i start dialing the phone is dies. so i got out and walked over to the other car. by this time someone has stopped to help him. i tell them my car is dead and my phone is dead and i just need their phone. one of the guys is younger, and REALLY squirrelly. "i'm a mechanic and i can look at it if you want. are you out of gas?!!?!??!" so then he runs up and looks at it and says "oh. it's your fuel pump! i can fix it if you want. i have one at home that i was going to give to my friend but he doesn't need it now. i can fix for $100. anywhere else is $300!!!!!" this guy kept talking at me really fast and the whole time he was looking at my car and talking at me he was also on the phone. then his dad came over and i said "would it just be possible to get a ride to a gas station?"
i thought that this would be the best thing for me to do, leave the freeway area, because there was no way i could walk there, and if someone was going to pick me up then i didn't want them to have to drive all the way to the everett mall then turn around and drive back in the sucky ass traffic. so the dad gave me a ride and let me call my dad. i told my dad to meet me at the 76 station on broadway. now it was probably somewhere between 4:15 and 4:30. i waited there for a long, long time. i had forgotten how gross everett can be if you're not just driving through. i had no way of knowing what time it was, and i was starting to get really worried. i just really wanted to go to my stupid hair thingy and forget everything about the car and the traffic. finally, at about 5 my dad drove up. so then we talked about what we were going to do. he said "i'll take you to your hair thing" but then i said "well can't we just tow the car?" . i don't know why i said that. so we pulled over and he called the costco roadside something or other. they said they'd send a tow truck. so we got back on the freeway going south. then we turned around. it sucked. when we got to my car the white SUV was still there but the other guys weren't. my car had green police scribbles on it. now it was about 5:20. we waited. then we waited some more. then after a while my dad called to find out where the tow truck was. as that happened the other guys tow truck came. two other tow trucks passed us. we kept waiting. cars drove by us. some ass hole actually whistled at me. he was at lease 3 lanes over and he had his window down and he was a mexi. he scowled at me. he was hatin' and i don't know why. i never did anything to him. we waited more. i got into the car to wait. the phone rang and it was costco. a robot voice said "if your service has been completed then something something. if not then press or say 2" so i did. i told "shanaynay" (as my dad called her) that the tow truck had not come yet. it was now 6:20. she called them and then said "they say they came buy but you weren't there" WTF? we've been here an hour already. so my dad got on the phone and ripped a new butt hole. then he promised to write letters to both costco and the towing company. he also said that he hoped they didn't send the same driver back because something really bad might happen. his eyes twitched when he yelled at them.
so we waited some more. then at 7 i called back and talked to Juan. he was nice. i told him the story and that my dad was going to shit a brick if a tow truck didn't come soon. he put me on hold to find out what was going on. while on hold the tow truck finally got there. i shit my own brick of relief. THANK GOD. we drove the the car place and then drove through everett because i didn't want to go on the freeway. the cure concert was going on so there was a lot of idiots wearing black lipstick with stupid haircuts like short blond hair on one side and longer purple hair on the other side. as we drove down broadway four police cars passed us going the opposite direction. there must have been a brawl at the cure concert. those kinds of people are like that, you know.

we got home at 8. i was really happy to get home at eat food. i had spaghetti and THEN chili. then a cookie. i watched part of gilmore girls and then left. i stopped and got gas and bought a king size PB twix bar. i figure that i had a pretty rough day and i needed a candy break.

i know that overall this was not the worst possible thing that could have happened. i didn't get hurt and no one else got hurt. there was people around to help me when my phone didn't work. i'm glad they were there. so who really knows right?

i'm done with this now. it could have used some editing for length but i am not an editor. i will try and spell check though, for you, my reader.

Posted by alison at 10:33 AM | Comments (2)